Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Do I still have a dream?

These few months passed by in depth thinking of myself, digged up my soul searching, who am I...and why I am here....The deeper I think, the more questions popped out.... no answers.


A lot of times, I feel that I am supposed to achieve a lot more than this; much much more than just getting good grades at school, going to university funded by gov, getting a stable 9-5 job in some top notch private company, and just go with the flow.

I hate that I actually am now 'go with the flow'... If you are just going with the flow, aren't you missing out a lot of superb things outside the world so wide??? Won't you wake up each day feeling thwarted knowing that you are capable of greater things, and yet you are stucked here?




Sometimes I know I am meant to do bigger things; and that I have what it takes to change. Sometimes I feel so dissappointed at myself, dissatisfied and very much constricted in my current environment, and that I can’t burst this small bubble I am in and venture out, to explore so many meaningful things outside, waiting for me.....

What is the true life calling for me?

I know what I am not meant to be; but I don't really know what I am meant to be....But I know that I am not meant to sit behind this green cubicle in an unfulfilling 9-5 job in this wrong place eagerly waiting for my paycheck each month so that I can put food on the table, pay off my mortgage and my car loan etc........ which is exactly what I am doing now, for Christ sake!... =.=

I am not a tooo very ambitious gal, I am not Master Zhen Yan/Mother Teresa type, nor Hillary Clinton style. I know also that I am not the type who will slave myself working 9-5 yet spend it all to get myself a genuine Louis Vuitton or Gucci bag to parade down the street as if I am the richest gal on earth.

I know I need to change, seriously...while I still can afford to do so..


Life is just 1 shot...will I really regret when I turn back to see myself 50 years from now, hoping I did the otherwise?


3 comments:

Ice said...

You know, so many people dislike what they do after university. That includes me. I worked for about 8.5 years in my profession and quit it altogether about 3 years plus ago. I had to do something else because I wasn't happy. Of course, quitting your current job will take a huge courage. Not many people dare to take that step.

XiaoBai said...

You just spoke my mind.. and it really does take a lot of courage to change... and very few peopl made it thru... I hope I am one of those few that make it true...I am working 5.5 years in my profession already and I can't wait to change my environement..

So what are you doing now on the 'something else'?

HoneyBee said...

before you change the environment, your surroundings, your financial situation, or to change how others perceive you ...... Change yourself.
and then, ask yourself: 'what makes my happy life?" i believe, it's not MONEY, it's not prestige, it's not a loaded husband... the answer is as simple as "I want to be happy, a happy person with happy life". So, guess what, Happy is a feeling, a feeling of CONTENTMENT.

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