What '5 years' means to me..

Just receive an email from my company... saying that I have work in this company for 5 years and I can choose my 5 years service award gift...

A lot of people must feel so proud and happy to have receive their service award... I thought I should be too.

But when I read this email, I said to myself... woww.. I have worked here for 5 years... 5 years is very long to me... I have never thought I will stay here for 5 years... but I am still here...pathetic...

There are a lot of mixed feelings within, I don't know how to describe....

This place and this work is definitely not my dream, there is a sudden knock on my head, hey...I should be out there working on my dreams and visions and the things I want to do...

I know, I need to move on with my life...

I know, I need to find back my courage...